i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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