My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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