Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
