We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
