She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
