My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
