It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
