he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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