Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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