watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
