we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
