I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize