Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
