Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
