SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
