I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
