She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
