Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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