I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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