Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
a search helicopter?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
