I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
