dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
