it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
