Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
