I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
