if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize