I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize