I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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