make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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