You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
