we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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