Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
