I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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