if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize