That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
