tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
