You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
