mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
