Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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