if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
