they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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