they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
