I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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