So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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