He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
