The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
