just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
