If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
