That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
