Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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