You really coming over, don't trick.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
