ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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