capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my liver is dry heaving
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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