I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
