You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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