Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
