So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
