so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
